Best Friends are leaving Michigan

Last night, I experienced the Homecoming/Going Away party*** for two very special dudes. These dudes are Best Friends. And they literally are best friends. They sing about being best friends, giving people hugs, recycling, and optimism, while maintaining a sharp punk sound. It ended with the biggest group hug I have ever been a part of in my entire life. And for that, I would like to thank Best Friends. Greg and Scott, you will be missed! Good luck in Philly, guys!

The Hadituptoheres opened for Best Friends. And someone opened for the Hadits, but I got there too late for that. Sorry.



***Apparently, they were on tour for 50+ days prior to this show, and this was their first night back in Michigan. They are leaving for Philadelphia in a few days. :-(

Smashed!

Come out to Detroit Summer Smash this Thursday/Friday/Saturday.
Some highlights:
Thursday: Dude, the fuckin' Friendly Foes and Four Hour Friends for fucks sake.
Friday: Dude, The Beggars. They will melt your face off with rock. And a lot of fun.
Saturday: Dude, Deastro isn't playing anymore. But Silverghost will be there. And so will Prussia, The High Strung, and The Dead Bodies. Hell yeah.

It's $16 for all three days (totally good deal, people), or $5 on Thursday, $8 Friday, and $8 Saturday. According to Laura Witkowski in an interview with Metro Times, "Professional security and legal support will be on hand during the festival to ensure our guests and members' civil rights and personal dignity is not violated by anyone." Well put, comrade.

It's at the CAID. Please come out. You won't regret it. Well, I can't completely say that. You might regret it. Like, if you run into your ex or something and they're there with their*** new "friend" and you are looking like crap. So, don't look like crap. Try to look nice. Then you might not regret coming. And who cares about your ex anyway? There was obviously a reason you two aren't together anymore. You should still try to look nice, though. Because if you are there at 4pm on Saturday and you look like crap, I will probably make fun of you.

According to the Detroit Summer Smash Myspace page:
"Detroit Summer Smash was in hibernation last year after an 8 year run! We are returning in 2008 with the help of the Contemporary Art Institute of Detroit! Summer Smash 2008 will raise monies for a CAID-sponsored grant for Detroit-area musicians!

Here is the lineup:
Thursday August 21st, $5 or $16 for festival pass
9pm- Bird Gang
10pm- 4 hour Friends
11pm- Friendly Foes

Friday August 22nd, $8
9pm- Sons of the Gun
10pm- Hotness
11pm- Beggars
12am- Oblisk
12:30am- DJ Afterglow

Saturday August 23rd, $8 for full-day Saturday pass
2pm- Whistling School for Boys
3pm – OHTIS
4pm- Elle & The Fonts
5pm- Always 17
6pm- dinner break!!!
7pm- Prussia
8pm- Electric Fire Babies
9pm- Goudron
10pm- Dead Bodies
11pm- The High Strung
12am- Silverghost
12:30am- dancing sounds by Dave Shettler and Scott Zacharis!"

***I have a degree in writing stuff, I swearz.

Where my girls at?

I was having a conversation with a fellow female musician in the area, and she pointed out the Detroit scene is a little sausage dominated. Now, it's not something we were necessarily complaining about. This scene is also chaulk-full of awesome bands (please do not be an ass and try to argue that they are awesome because they are dudes, you will fail). The conversation stemmed from trying to find other female musicians*. I know a lot of people, and I was stumped. Of course, we all know the powerhouses: Alicia (The Nice Device), Lizzy (Friedly Foes/Kiddo), Leann (The Von Bondies), Marcie (Silverghost), Ko-Ko (Hard Lessons), etc. I did some digging to find some ladies you may not have heard of just yet.

Darling Imperial, a new project of some Detroit veterans, boosts an amazing lead singer by the name of Sarah Sadovsky. Imagine White Chalk album-era PJ Harvey, mixed with a little Tori Amos, but certainly not as old or weird.

Sh! The Octopus has pianist/vocalist Christine Baxter providing lush harmonies and rocking out on the ivories.

Got anyone to add to that list?

In other news, I had a dream last night that I joined Spice Girls as their guitar player. Weird.

*Is anyone else sick of hearing, "There is a girl in that band!"? It seems like such a novelty still, which is ridiculous. It is almost as if we are hard-wired to believe that women playing instruments are rarities because women aren't hard-wired to play instruments. So, is the lack of women musicians because of the male-dominated musiciandustry (I made up a new word!)? Or is it more of a general social issue (women are conditioned to find rewards in areas of society other than creative outlets/being creative holds no rewards for the modern woman who is supposed to be family and career driven at the same time/artistic women are seen as living on the fringe of society/etc)? Discuss.

Electric Six Cleans Up Detroit

Oh. My. God.

Javelins were amazing last night. But I don't need to tell you that because I am pretty sure you were all there. If you weren't, it was awesome and Will Yates played with them. Everything is better with a little Will Yates. I think Kevin Bayson played on stage as well. I just assumed it was him. I did no actual research. That could be a total lie.

I didn't take pictures because this guy's brother did, and I wanted to dance.

Today, I did something I never thought I would do: wear white leggings and white teeshirt in public. And I didn't wear any makeup.

Why, oh why, did I something so out of character? For Mason Proper. They were filming a music video for a single off their new album, Olly Oxen Free, at the Russell Industrial Center in Detroit.



Refused, "New Noise." The video for "Safe For the Time Being" will kind of be like that. Mason Proper is a hardcore band now, btw.


I was told to wear light colored clothes for the shoot, and I think I was the only one there in light colored clothes. Note to self: other Mason Proper fans are not as smart as me.* These two people were friends of directors**:


Rachel and Dave and some pizza.
Dave is a huge fan of pizza. He is also the bass player for Empty Orchestra for their upcoming tour. His friend, Rachel, is really funny and has some amazing dance moves. She also loves pizza.


Scary mask. Jonathan from MP even said he was afraid of the masks at first.



The new Mason Proper CD comes out September 23rd. I will be reviewing it! Maybe I will convince them to do an interview. I tried to talk to Zac Fineberg in the hallway, but his mouth was full of pizza.

That's really all I want to say about the video shoot. It's going to be an amazing video. These folks are pros.

I wish I could find someone in the Detroit area who I could do a photo comparison to Dennis Lyxzén with. Anyone? Anyone?

*In case you didn't know, I am joking. Sort of.
**Hott Garbage, who also made the EO vid for "It Gets Better" and the Mason Proper vid for "Friendship."

Brief blogging hiatus.

I will be in the wonderous town of Memphis* for the next two days. Although my parents finally have the Internetz, I will be avoiding computers altogether. But I will come back with a couple of articles/blogs that I will handwrite and then post as such. I am warning you, my handwriting is atrocious. My sincerest apologies. Not.

As you may or may not have heard, this upcoming weekend is a CD/7" Release Extravaganza! Your best bets: The Hentchmen's new release comes with bubblegum and trading cards. Way to go, Bellyache. Also, there is the new full-length by Javelins. But I've already talked them up enough to say anymore.

In other news, Detroit Summer Smash is back and better than ever!** For a good cause. I love causes. Has anyone seen the dude that won't use pillows for 31 days? He is a cutie. Who also loves causes. Anyway, check out their myspace to see the line-ups. It's at the CAID. Woooo!


*Michigan
**I am not just saying that because I am playing it.

And now for City Fest.

Who doesn't love summer festivals?

THIS GIRL RIGHT HERE. Too much standing. Too much outdoors. I have to slather myself in bug spray and SPF 1000---which, by the way, bug spray smells a lot better than it used to.

I would go to see The Silent Years, but I have a show on Wednesday night as well. Apparently, The Silent Years are pretty good. I have not seen them since The Nice Device had a CD release show at the Magic Bag. The line-up has changed. Drastically, I might add. The good news is that Boobs Mcgee is no longer in the band. I don't think that was her real name but HONEST TO GOD, the only reason all of my dude friends were standing in front of the stage was to stare at her... umm... yeah. It was super lame of my dude friends, and I really tried to look past them, I mean, the boobs, but I was not impressed by the single notes she was pressing down on her tiny synth. Cassandra Verras has since taken over, and not only rocks the fuck out on keys (I have only seen pictures/heard stories), but she also plays stringed instruments (I think I saw her when Joiya had a show in Saginaw years ago). Anyone who plays a Kurzweil is OK by me.

Yes, I used to live in Saginaw. Yes, it was horrible. The only good thing to come out of Saginaw (besides Strategia) was Alicia Warrington, who after years of playing drums in a million different bands (including Kelly Osborne's backing band) is back in Michigan playing with the Gore Gore Girls for now. Awesome.

Anyway, back to Saginaw, where the only two places you could play shows (besides Kurt's basement) was a hall out in the middle of nowhere that catered to hardcore bands, and White's Bar. It was pretty dire. For a while, I hated the Blood Brothers because that's all any band would cover. Except for the Banana Convention. They would cover The Monkees, and I would be standing in the very front row, singing along. Oh, Mike Nesmith. I love you.

So, in conclusion, you should go to City Fest if you like hanging out outside in the sun and watching The Silent Years, but you should go to the 2500 Club on Wednesday night to either a) beat me up for talking smack about Boobs or b) you hate the outdoors as much as I do.

Local Celebrity Challenge II: Battle of the Bloggers

Bloggers (or Escribitionists, if you feel so inclined). They are the foundation of our society. Before there was blogging, there were no bloggers, and thus, no foundation for our society. It was a sad, sad world before the Internetz. How did people communicate? That's another blog for another day, kids. Today, though, we celebrate two of the most popular bloggers in the history of the world (Detroit) with a BATTLE OF THE BLOGGERS. Whoever loses this challenge will be fed to Kwame Kilpatrick.

And so it begins...

Elle: State your name and your blog address.
Scotter: Scotter, post-rockist.com
Jasper: Jasper, webvomit.com

L: How long have you been blogging?
S: Two years. It's my blogging birthday this month!
J: Since February 2005. Wow, that sounds terrible.

L: What do you hate about Michigan?
S: No public transpo.
J: Michiganders.

L: What do you love about Michigan?
S: I like my lakes great.
J: That we say "pop" instead of "soda". Fuck soda.

L: Ramble for at least one paragraph about something that is ultra-obscure.

S: If you read the first few pages of the Great Gatsby carefully, you'll see that there's an amazing moment of subtle foreshadowing in the smallest detail of Fitzgerald's diction. You see, the narrator Nick Carroway says "Gatsby was all right in the end" right at the beginning, but this is a red herring of sorts. Notice that he writes "all right," not "alright." Gatsby's dream was, according to Carroway, "all right." It was the right vision. However, Gatsby certainly wasn't "alright" in the end. He got shot in his pool at the end, and dies.

J: Vulgar is an album released by Dir en grey on September 10, 2003 in Japan and on February 21, 2006 in Europe. A limited edition containing an additional DVD was also released. It featured the video of the song "Obscure", albeit a censored version (the uncensored clip was later released on the Average Psycho DVD). Vulgar is the first Dir en grey release not to feature individual credits for the music (credits for track 9, 11 and 14 taken from the respective singles). The original Japanese title of track four offers several ways of romanization, namely "shokubeni" and "syokubeni" (the latter being used on Dir en grey's official website).

L: What is your best pick-up line?
S: "You're so hot, it makes me feel alive."
J: It's less of a line, and more of a threatening stare while humping a bar stool or table. Chicks eat that shit up.

L: What is your most interesting story that takes place in Detroit?
S: On Opening Day this year, I got thrown out of the same bar twice in one day.
J: So this one time, really early in the morning after a party or something, a guy was driving down Woodward or Cass or wherever and a hooker flagged him down. Being curious, he pulled over to learn the woman needed a ride. Being half-drunk and half-retarded, the man asked "what's in it for me?". At that point a hooker titty was presented through the driver's window, and the dude actually put that thing in his mouth. After that exchange was over, the woman went to open the back door, but the man sped off. His reason for fleeing: "That chick was filthy. I didn't want her in my car." Yet somehow he considered her clean enough to put in his mouth.

L: Do you have any juicy gossip about your opponent?
S: His favorite show is the Smurfs, which caused his everlasting guilty pleasure love of The Blue Man Group. He has another blog--a fan blog--about them that he doesn't disclose to anyone else. In that blog, he is pictured de-bagged, but with blue paint all over his face.
J: The man [from the story] is Scotter.


Once again, I feel like I have set myself up for a huge headache trying to decide the winner.

The fan favorite is Scotter. I didn't even have to ask for the opinions of others on this one. My mailbox was inundated with messages like "I LOVE SCOTTER" and "SCOTTER IS THE COOLEST DUDE EVER" and "HIS BREATH SMELLS LIKE VANILLA ICE CREAM." But Scotter himself even said that he is undeserving of such a title. I think he was just afraid that Jasper might hunt him down in the alley behind The Bronx and put a bag over his head (unless it was plastic, I don't see this as being too much of a threat).

All joking aside (don't you hate when people use that term too much?), the deciding factor came down to the answer to this question: "What is your favourite punctuation mark?"

S: Is the semicolon a punctuation mark? I guess it's not, because it's not punctuating anything--it's a wall between two clauses that are equal, perhaps a "no-man's land" in the battle for clause supremacy. Either way, I still choose the semicolon, although I hate when it's used in an emoticon.
J: The dash, obviously. It tricks people into not noticing run-on sentences by a rambling bloggers -- most of us don't know how to properly use commas and semicolons and shit like that anyway. The dash is the punctuation magician -- it makes unintelligible crap more readable.

Scotter, the semicolon is a punctuation mark according to Wikipedia (the only source of information that I trust). You can take you Master's degree from whatever school you got it from and kiss my butt. And Jasper, you bagged head scares the crap out of me.

So the winner is...













ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Totally awesome. I rule.

But since Jasper and Scotter were such great sports, I owe you both a beer or two when I see you next.

Deastro on Emusic

I know I am a little late with this, but I just rejoined Emusic last month (after taking a much needed three year hiatus from it), and I was stoked when they recommended Deastro to me. I wanted to send them an e-mail saying, "Thanks, but I already effin' knew about Deastro but I am glad you have Deastro available for download on your site." But I decided against that.

There are a few shows coming up.

I am liking the trend that some bars/venues in Detroit have picked up on lately: not charging for cover. I love it. I play for free all the time anyway, so since I am not making any money, why should there be cover, right? Shout out to the Old Miami and PJ's Lager House. The best part about these bars? They don't charge you $4.50 for a PBR (*ahem* MajesticGardenStick). I understand that you have people on your payroll and that these people need to get paid. And I also understand that people are still buying the beers regardless of the inflated prices. So you really have no incentive to lower the prices. You remind me of the oil companies. Yes.

Anyway, The Hadituptoheres, who I am completely sick of seeing/hearing, are playing a free show at the Old Miami this Saturday. I will probably be there, with earplugs in. I have a huge crush on the singer. Otherwise, I wouldn't care.

/joke.

But there is a huge party going on a block from my apartment that night, and I would love to be able to drink and walk home (I don't even have to cross the street).


DO NOT DRINK AND DRIVE! it is not cool.
/not a joke

Hot Box!!!11

OK, so if you go to the Myspace page of Hot Box, you will see that they are from Massachusetts. But what you may not know is their drummer, Eric, is from Detroit. What you also may not know is that Hot Box is coming to Small's** in Hamtramck on July 12th.***

If you don't "have the time" to look at their myspace page, and perhaps listen to a few tunes, here's what you are missing: Hot Box is an indie/alternative band who lists their influences as Talking Heads, Alice in Chains, and Modest Mouse, just to name a few. Alice in Chains? I know, I did a double-take, too. Most indie folks would see that and think, 'omg, I would have put Mudhoney, that's sooo much cooler.' They are the kind of band that take me back to the days when I listened to The Get-Up Kids and Casket Lottery and sighed a lot. I like that feeling. Good times, good times.

I recently sat down at my computer and wrote an e-mail to Hot Box, asking them all the important questions. Although I would prefer a face-to-face interview (do you see how adorable they are!?), I have wittled down my usual list of important interview questions to the top three ESSENTIAL questions of all time. Amanda, the bodacious bass player of Hot Box, was kind enough to respond.

Elle: What are your favorite foods?
Amanda: Pumpkins
Danielle: Sesame Seed Bagel
Eric: Ice Cream

Elle: What brand of toothpaste are you using in your profile picture?
Amanda: Colgate. Total whitening, I think.

Elle: I can't use that, it hurts my teeth
*no response*

note to self: E-mails suck. They should invent some sort of real-time, maybe 'instant,' messaging system, where I can ask questions, and then they can answer, and then I can comment, and ask more questions. Srsly.

Elle: If you could play any other instrument, what would it be?
Amanda: Trumpet!(or brass in general) So I could write sweet dreamy horn parts like american football
Danielle: harp and drums
Eric: Piano

According to their blog, Hot Box is starting their "Fantasy 2008" tour right here in Michigan. Fantastic, I say! For those of you who may be reading this and aren't from Michigan, here are a list of tour dates:
Fantasy Tour 2008
July 12th @ Small's DETROIT, MI
July 13th @ the Orpahange CHICAGO, IL
July 14th @ Nottingham Coop MADISON, WI
July 15th @ the Way Out ST. LOUIS, MO
July 16th @ Bear's Place BLOOMINGTON IN
July 17th @ Pearl Nite Club DAYTON, OH
July 18th @ Knitting Factory (old office) NYC, NY
July 19th @ Trash Bar BROOKLYN NY
July 21st @ Club Hell PROVIDENCE RI
July 23rd @ Great Scott BOSTON, MA (Territories CD RELEASE!)

**Small's is actually having a night that isn't a Hell City Records showcase?!?! Are you kidding me?!?

***If you are in the Ypsilanti/Ann Arbor area, come to the Elbow Room because my band will be playing there. And by "band," I mean that I am playing there. Solo-style.

Ladytron and Hanging out with John Nash

Last time I was at St. Andrew's Hall was three+ years ago when Muse played a free show. I was in the front row but this older dude squeezed in front of me. Between bands, he was telling his friend that he wished Muse had another CD other than "Absolution," and I was all like, "Excuse me, sir, that wasn't their first CD." and he got very angry with me and called me an idiot. When Muse started playing, everyone rushed the stage and I got pushed into him. He told me to get the hell off of him and he punched me in the mouth. My lip was bleeding. It was awesome. After the show, I hung out with Muse at Jacoby's.*

Today's show wasn't as dramatic, but some girls tried to start shit with me when my friend and I moved up through the crowd. My friend talked back to them, and I was trying to keep my head low. I didn't want another busted lip. Luckily for me, no fights broke out.

But Ladytron made me go blind.

Oh, but first, Datarock played. Here is my drawing of the drummer of Datarock (I didn't bring my camera).
His cymbal stand was really tall. He was the most amusing drummer I have seen in a long time.

Anyway, back to Ladytron and being blind. I had to drive home after that shit. Not cool. During Ladytron, I hung out with John Nash (Electric Six). He asked me if I was a reporter or something now, and I said that I was a blogger (I think he got a little nervous). He was telling me about how one of the keyboardists from Ladytron filled in for Tait when they were in Europe. Totally awesome. Then I saw Alicia and Matt from the Nice Device. I tried out for that band twice. You would think since I am obviously not in the band now, I would be trashing them, but I just can't bring myself to do that. They are good people. One time, Alicia slapped my ass. I was nervous about talking to Dennis Lxyzen** and she was all like, "just fucking do it, bitch!"*** Anyway, Tait was also there, and he was bothering me about my friend, and his ex-bandmate, Brandon Codiene****. I think I saw Koko Louise from the Hard Lessons roaming about. She is the best singer in the world. Period. Don't even try to argue with me about it. I will pwn you.

I also ran into Sean Shea, and I got his phone number. Hell yeah. Watch out. I'm all over it. His band is on hiatus because his sister (and bandmate) is going to be popping out a baby any day now. Gross.

Anyway, back to Ladytron and being blind. Oh wait, already said that. Shit. I don't know what else to say... Ladytron was awesome. At least they played 'seventeen.' And I got to hang out with John Nash.

Thanks again, Jasper. Your blog is hilarious*****. And a shout out to Vincent because it was cool seeing you again.

*and that is karma, bitch.
**spelling?
***she didn't actually call me a bitch
****Ghost City, holla.
*****but not as sweet as mine, bitch!!!

Thank you for reading.

I have reached my goal of over 1000 hits in a week. My work here is done.

HAH! No, I have a lot more to say. The Local Celebrity Challenge blog will be up by tonight!

Here's a sneak peak:

The new Deastro?

The new band members of Deastro sounded pretty tight last night, right? The three new members are from The Weakend, a pop-punk/screamo/goth/jam band* from Sterling Heights**. This might already be common knowledge (I'm not one to read anything besides my own blog).

Years ago, I met the dudes from The Weakend at a ridiculous house party in Royal Oak. Turns out, I knew a couple of them from the reallllly old band, Forever Ending. Oh snap. I saw them play when I was in high school. This was after the Internetz were invented by Al Gore, so my friends and I used to think we were so cool travelling from the thumb region of Michigan to "Detroit"*** to see a real band that we had met on the said Internetz.

As far as I have "heard," The Weakend are still a band. Their singer, though, lives all the way in another country, called Alabama. Or is it Arkansas? Whichever state it is, it must be hard to play shows from that far away (~825 miles or ~890 miles, respectively). Do you video conference him in? We have that technology where I work, but it seems a little pricy for a band. Right?

Maybe they do the opposite of Champions of Breakfast and have him record the vocals and play them through an iPod while they are playing their instruments.

For those of you who didn't already know about my pre-existing medical condition, I would like to tell you about it right now. I am obsessed with Brendon Small****. Like, not the actual person, just all of his creative endeavors. That being said, I am going to see Dethklok on Tuesday, the 17th, at Clutch Cargos in Pontiac. If you would like to see me drooling and having panic attacks, then you should come with me or meet me at the show or just stare at me from the corner and blog about it later. I don't fucking care.

In other news, this is creepy as fuck! Imagine if it were like, 18 feet long instead of 18 inches. I'm still not convinced that an 18 foot long one doesn't exist.


*I really don't know what to call them. I don't like what their myspace page says though.
**Represent!
***what was actually Roseville
****we are Facebook friends.

Oh, Detroit...

And the haterdom continues! This time about another band (and subsequent festival). I will agree with a few points made in the comments... The fest is very one-sided*, Ryan Allen will make two (maybe even more?) appearances (but I wouldn't go as far as saying it's Ryan Allen's Fest**), and unicorns DO exist***.

Enough about Detour... Let's talk about the idea of someone starting shit with a semi-popular local group so that other people would then talk about their band and they would get some attention (and it's something that I didn't even think of---GENIUS!). Seriously, the thought never crossed my mind. But that is such a good idea! I need to be more devious and mean and cutthroat with this blog. Or I am never going to get mentioned in Metro Times.

Someone asked me today what I have been listening to in my car recently. The following CDs have been in heavy rotation (I do not have an iPod, don't hate on me for it):
1. Midnight Boom, The Kills
2. This Gift, Sons and Daughters
3. a mix CD with cocorosie, Rainer Maria, Mando Diao, and Jarvis Cocker, among others
4. Pleasure Mountain, Champions of Breakfast

Why isn't your band's CD listed? Because I am broke. But if you want to give me a CD for free, I'll review it here. That is to say it might not be a good review. I might talk some shit, depending on how cool your band is.

I want attention. That's why I started this blog, right? RIGHT?!?!


*I'm not hatin' here, I'm just saying it is obvious
**bitter much?
***what a cool "genetic flaw!" I want one!

Wally Jaczkowski and the Consequences of his Stupid Actions

From what I have heard, this Wally guy is a total douchebag. I have also heard that he writes about UFOs and robots just to get laid.

All of that aside, his music isn't *that* bad. In fact, I find the minimalist approach quite endearing.

He is playing a show at the Belmont on Sunday, June 15. His pet fish just died, so please give him a hug (unless this is one of his oh-so-slick ways of getting in your pants).

I heard a girl named Becki is playing washboard for him now, and that's respectable. Any band with a washboard is at least worth checking out. It's a fucking washboard. Awesome.

Rock City------wooo!

Anyone else going to the Rock City Fest this weekend?

I'm super stoked about it. I know you might think I have a negative view on Detroit and the musicians, but I really don't. I'm MORE than excited to see all of the Detroit-area bands play a huge festival of sorts.

I will need to invest in some ear plugs though. That much music and that level will screw up your hearing!!! Kids, be safe. Make sure you bring some. If not, I am buying a huge pack from CVS and you can steal some from me. Just a friendly PSA.

Champions of Breakfast! Deastro! Javelins! Prussia! Pas/cal! Blase Splee! The Von Bondies are back in town! Saturday is going to be RIDICULOUS! OMG OMG OMG. No, srly. For realz.

I didn't luck out like my friend, Angela, and win tickets. Lucky.