Brutally Heavy Meadows.

It's hard being a blogger in Detroit. By the time you get the newest releases (even before they are out), five other people have already written about it. Don't cry for me though, because then I still end up with a bunch of music I didn't previously have. For the most part, it is good. Sometimes, it is real bad.

In the case of Javelins new record, Heavy Meadows, I did not know what to expect. Their first LP, No Plants Just Animals, was OK. Nothing new, nothing exciting, nothing to "write home about," if you will. It was just... OK. Before popping in their newest effort, I jotted down a list of musicians that I thought might make appearances on the album. The list is as follows:
* Zach Curd (Pop Project)
* Will Yates (Pop Project)
* Christian Doble (Child Bite/Kiddo)
* Kaylan Mitchell (Canada*)

I think I was right about Zach and Kaylan. Win!

And now for the review:
[insert the longest run-on sentence possible with the most pretentious words you could possibly find in a dictionary/thesaurus]

OK, here is the real review:

If the Blood Brothers and Interpol did some 'shrooms and smoked a bunch of weed together and jammed, they might sound like Javelins. Or if The Get Up Kids decided to bro down with Tim Kasher, and record an album, it might sound like Heavy Meadows.

OK, no seriously, real real review time:

A fan of malapropisms, I was hoping Heavy Meadows was a play on words for Heavy Metal, but I was sorely disappointed. Instead, I got softly caressed on the face (as opposed to being punched in the face) by soothing stringed instruments (as opposed to brutal, sweeping guitar parts run through two full stacks in a bar the size of my office).

The opening track of the album, Flowers, teeters on pretty and dissonant to the point where you are lulled into (and then jacked out of) a mid-summer's nap in a hammock on your parents' backporch in the 'burbs. Lyrically heartbreaking, compounded by a heartwrenching vocal melody. Could be an emo song. But it's not. Maybe it is. I don't know. I just like describing things as "emo" as much as possible.

The strings at the beginning of The Pounding were unexpected. After doing a little research (ie, stalking other blogs and Flickr accounts and Myspace pages), it turns out not only Mitchell was involved but so was Cassandra Verras. Awesome.

Personally, the stand out tracks on the album are El Dorado, Pickup Lines, and Out On the Sand. Out On the Sand is more The Stills than it is Interpol, but it's so well executed with perfectly chosen guitar effects, punctuated synths, awkward vocals, and dancey drum beats that you completely forget that you just compared it to The Stills and Interpol on the first listen. Pickup Lines boasts some memorable lyrics like, "memories are something that you can't afford." Deep. El Dorado is just good. Plain and simple. Good. Not that the song is plain nor simple.

Shit, I told Matt Rickles that I was going to tear this CD apart. I just can't, though.

Anyway, they are doing some record release show or something next weekend, the 26th, to be exact, at my favourite bar ever, The Belmont. They are playing with this totally awesome band called Nouns. I love that band. I will probably be at the show. Bring money and buy the record/album/CD/LP/whatever.

*And because she is on just about EVERY record ever made in Michigan. She's awesome at what she does. It's no joke.

Sea of Japan sucks.

That is a total lie. They were amazing and mind-blowing and so incredibly fantastic. Sea of Japan, which is made up of permanent members Doug, Fabian, and Brian, were joined by Word Play-ers Brent and Brandon for the evening. You really should download their CD online @ Suburban Sprawl dot com. It's free, and I'm telling you, you will not be disappointed.



Speaking of temporary editions to bands, The Recital (who hasn't played in quite some time) boasted two extra members from The Pop Project. It was a pleasure to see/hear The Recital again. It has been far too long. Chris O, you, sir, are hilarious.

The Word Play were a completely different band then they were last weekend at the RCF. There were still technical difficulties (lots of hot mics), but they played it off. Lots of smiles. Lots of cute. Kevin's performance was intense.

So what's with all the cross-pollinating bands?

Also, what was with the kid with the flashing belt buckle? That. Was. Ridiculous.

I am too distracted to finish this blog. I'm sorry. I'm watching Kathy Griffin: Life on the D List." This blog totally sucked. But Sea of Japan does not suck. Your band probably does. Unless your band is called "ujustwentdownon me," then your band is totally awesome (shout out to my giiirls Erin and Beth!).

Also, I know who I am going to do the next Local Celebrity Challenge column on... Sorry, Alfred, it's not going to be you vs. someone new. This one is going to rock your faces off. More later.

Scuffs and Stuffs.

If any of you have ever seen Child Bite play, you have probably noticed the awesome, crocheted synth kozie on Shawn Knight's synth. If you haven't, here is a picture:


It was made by Veronica Knight. She also makes "scuffs." I need a scuff real bad for work to cover up these:


So if any of you cool rockers have totally awesome wrist tattoos that you need to cover up for your totally rad office job, then you should get ahold of Veronica. Here is a link to the photo album on myspace where you can see her work.


In other news stuff, I am going to see Sea of Japan, The Recital, and the Word Play tonight (at Alvin's in Detroit). I swear I will get off this Suburban Sprawl kick soon, dudes. But I can't get the Pop Project's CD out of my car CD player because it's *that* good, and The Recital is made up of, like, 3/4ths The Pop Project. The Word Play is supposedly putting out a record soon. Sea of Japan has one FOR FREE on Suburban Sprawl's website.

If you are sick of Sub Sprawl bands, then I would suggest checking out Wildcatting at the Blind Pig. Black Dahlia Murder is playing at the Majestic, and The Banana Convention is playing at Paycheck's Lounge. If you are not into experimental rock, really loud metally stuff, or 60s bubble gum pop, you should go visit your grandparents or your parents or do something constructive like build a house.

Oh, and, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PATRICE NICOLE!

The Pop Project-"Stars of Stage and Screen" and the Best Bonus Video Ever.

To be quite honest with you, I felt like I had heard all of the songs off of "Stars of Stage and Screen" by the Pop Project before. Obviously, if you have no idea the history behind the making of this album, you would think I was dissing them. A little background for those of you out of the loop: it took them FIVE years to record this album (once again, reinforcing the rumour that I started about them being illiterate). Technically, I have heard all of these songs before (I have seen them live at least five times). I am going to spend a long time dissecting this album. If someone puts THAT much effort into a record, might as well put that much effort into a review about said album, no? I heard this album cost them over $13 million to record.

All joking aside, my scene points are going to plummet after writing this review, for the following reasons: a) these guys are not 19-year-olds, b) they are actual, talented musicians, and c) none of them own baby blue skinny jeans (I could be completely wrong about this, though).

So, here is my essay about "Stars of Stage and Screen" by the Pop Project:

This is an album I would like my father to hear. Finally, I can prove to him that while everything made nowadays is regurgitated, it is, in fact, not "shit." Everything from the lyrics to the conjugation of the song structure is guided by a very careful hand (or hands, in this case). They use timing changes! IN THE MIDDLE OF SONGS! I was particularly drawn to the lyrics: heavy-handedly written in the perspective of the underdog. I felt like I was watching all of the recent Judd Apatow movies while listening to this record. "Stand In" sounds like it was ripped off a soundtrack to an Apatow romantic comedy. These guys have definitely felt more than enough cold shoulders from the cool kids of the world, but have channeled their bitter feelings into some beautifully crafted (and hilarious) lyrics.

Of all the tracks, my favourite one is "Hearts and Flowers." This is the kind of song I would like written about me. This is the kind of song I wish I could write about someone else. If you can't relate to the lyrics, "...I felt like my body was breaking, that my teeth were falling out one by one...because of you" then you are pretty much a heartless bastard. That’s OK, though. At least there are four guys in the world that seem to understand this feeling.

I kind of feel bad writing this review and not writing up a separate paragraph for every single song. This isn’t your typical band. This band is as close to a democracy as you can get in a band. Democracies in bands usually equate to watered-down crap. You need a bandleader. This band has four leaders. I don’t know how they don’t all hate each other (maybe they secretly do). As far as the three lead singers go, Zach Curd and Will Yates seem to be cut out of the same cloth of pop sensibility (did I just lose more points by using that term?). The songs Dave Lawson wrote, with the exception of the lounge-y “Stand In,” are a little more country, and a little less smooth than the other tracks. With all due respect, this guy can shred on guitar. He gives the songs by Curd and Yates that extra “pop” of zas*.

If you want a good laugh, a laugh that will hurt so bad because ‘it’s true, and that’s what makes it funny,” then “Never Got a Break” is the song for you. This is also a song I would like to dedicate to about 50% of the bands I have ever encountered. This song might also aptly describe the Pop Project in a couple of years if they do indeed never get a break. These dudes take their music seriously, but they aren’t afraid to poke fun at themselves or others. Kudos to that.

I almost feel like “House of Books” does not fit on this album. It’s almost too poignant in comparison to the rest of the songs, musically and lyrically. “House of Books” truly showcases this band’s diversity, and gives them an illusion of edginess. Hot. Zach Curd, if you played your keyboard “solos” on the most metal guitar you could possibly find, then I would be head-banging until I got whiplash. Metal? The Pop Project? I think they could do it if they cared to do it.

When you’re feeling down, pop in this CD**. Dance with reckless abandon. If you do not feel better by the second track, just keep listening. If by the last track you still aren’t feeling all right, I know a couple of really good mental health care professionals in the area. I think you need someone to talk to.

*Do yourself a favour and watch Metalocalypse sometime.
**Don't ask your friends to burn you this CD. Don't be a pussy, go to one of their shows and buy it. And if you can't make it to a show, order it online at Suburban Sprawl's website. Believe me, you will want to see the bonus video. Adam Kempa dances. Will Yates joins in. Adam Kempa also drops the eff bomb a bunch of times. Saying that word is hilarious.