After this, I am never bringing up Will Yates again.*

I needed to get this over with. Will Yates: I mention him in about 2/3rd of my blog posts. Enough is enough. I decided it was time to just do an interview with him, so in the future, I won't have to mention him anymore because everything you need to know about him will be in this entry. *Unless he decides to start another band, or join another band, or writes a musical or something.

I caught him on Gchat and asked if wouldn't mind doing an interview. He agreed, but he had just thought of a song idea and needed to record it real quick. Damn. Of course he has a song idea. And of course he is just going to record it real quick. So, here is everything you need to know about Will Yates, sort of.

Will: ok here i am
Elle: hah! I will be right back, and have to take a call. It was my mom.
Elle: Sorry about that.
Will: no prob

Elle: So, what was the first instrument you picked up?
Will: Piano. I was banging on the family piano from a young age, and started lessons when I was 5.
Elle: How many other instruments would you say you are proficient at playing now?
Will: I would say I'm also proficient at the guitar and bass guitar.
Elle: I'd have to agree with that.
Will: heh
Elle: Although, I think I would say you are little more than just proficient at it.

Elle: Do you think you could estimate how many different bands you have been in/toured with/guested on albums for/etc?
Will: I've been a full-time member of 4 bands. My high-school band was called Superautomatic. Then I was in the Singles for about 4 years. Now I'm in the Pop Project and Zoos of Berlin.
Will: I'm playing guest keyboards in Javelins these days. I've done tours (longer than one or two dates) with The Singles and Javelins.
Will: I've guested on maybe 6 albums, only within the last year or two.
Elle: Impressive.
Will: As far as I can remember.
Elle: Hah!
Will: Ha, I'm not trying to show off.
Elle: I didn't think you were! Riiiiiiiiiight.

Elle: I must admit, one of my favorite songs off "Stars of Stage and Screen" is "Never Got the Breaks." You are a good songwriter. What are your influences?
Elle: Or "who" rather...
Will: Well, early on, the two big albums for me were Smashing Pumpkins' Siamese Dream and Radiohead's OK Computer. Those heavily informed the first few years of my songwriting. But then I got into Sloan. Between the Bridges and Navy Blues had a huge effect on my songwriting; I started writing songs in that style. SRSLY? Smashing Pumpkins?
Will: When I joined The Pop Project in 2003, I was still heavy into Sloan, and I was very excited to be joining a band that had a sound similar to what I was writing and that would let me contribute some songs.
Will: The music for "Never Got The Breaks" was written in 2003 or 2004 and the lyrics were written in 2005. I haven't written something that sounds like that in a while.
Elle: How does the songwriting process work with a band like The Pop Project? Do you come in with a completed song, or just the main parts, and then go from there?
Will: There are three of us writing songs in The Pop Project. We pretty much bring in completed songs and teach them to the rest of the band. There's some editing that goes on; we might try new countermelodies, or a new tempo, or something like that. Of the three, I'd say that I try the hardest to get the band to play the song like it sounds in my head and not change anything. When I write songs in the future for the band, I'm going to try to leave more wiggle room, so it becomes more of a band effort.
Elle: But you are the best songwriter ever. They will just mess shit up. Kidding, dudes, you are awesome too.
Will: You seem to be taking a page from fivethreedialtone's interview style. ; )
Elle: Oh no you di'nt!
Elle: hah, yeah, actually he is my hero.
I was apparently drunk when I wrote this.
Will: No, they won't mess shit up. Everyone in The Pop Project is phenomenally talented, and from the point of view of the average listener, they'd probably rather listen to a song that everyone in the band had some input on. I think those songs end up being more interesting.
Will: There's always the danger of writing by committee, but I think that everyone in The Pop Project is zany enough, and we're generally on the same page about things, that we don't ever compromise ourselves into making boring choices for our songs.

Elle: What else do you do besides write amazing songs and play in awesome bands?
Will: I recently got a job booking the Elbow Room in Ypsilanti, as you know.
Elle: How is that going for you? It seems like a lucrative gig. I'm not trying to be smarmy, I really love the Elbow Room.
Will: Beyond spending a few hours a day on that, I try to focus all my time on advancing my career in music. The Elbow Room job is going well. I've never booked a venue before, so there's a steep learning curve. I feel like I'm still learning something important every day, and hopefully getting better at it. I would not call it an incredibly lucrative pursuit. It's helping me maintain my current lifestyle, but it's not enough to move out of my parents' house. Of course, to be fair, it shouldn't be, because it's not a full-time job.

Elle: Do you have any favorite local bands at the moment that you are not involved in?
Will: Well, I would say that Great Lakes Myth Society is probably my favorite. Their two albums, especially the first one, are pretty much the best albums I'm aware of from local musicians (other than the ones I had a hand in, of course, heh heh).
Elle: Niiiice.
Will: Come to think of it, I have a minor backing vocal part on the second GLMS album. Damn.
Elle: So that doesn't count. You have to think of another band that you like.
Will: Damn. HAHA
Elle: Come on! It can't be that hard!
Will: Haha, I'm trying to think of who my favorite is though.
Elle: Take your time.
I could have sworn ten minutes went by. He was probably trying to figure out which band he hasn't been in.
Will: I guess I'll have to say Deastro. One of his songs, though I don't know what it's called, is constantly stuck in my head. I really like The Word Play. I don't if that counts since we're on the same label and we're friends. I didn't play a note on their album though.
Oh, The Wordplay, *droooool*
Elle: It kind of counts.

Elle: How did the tour with Javelins go?
Will: I've done two tours with Javelins in the last few months. Those have been a lot of fun; they're basically vacations. I really like the Javelins dudes a lot personally, and I think the fact that I'm not in a band full-time with them means that I always can enjoy hanging out with them without worrying about business or feeling like we're spending too much time together.
Elle: That sounds like fun.
Will: The last tour we did was with the band Colour Revolt, so that was like double the fun hanging out with that many awesome dudes.
Elle: I am going to find a way to tour with them.
Will: You may have to bring your own car.
Elle: haha.
Will: The van's generally pretty full when we're riding in it.
Javelins are apparently fatties.


Elle: How did you feel about the photo comparison I did of you and Ian Curtis?
Will: A few people have noticed that before.
Elle: Oh, well then.
Elle: I am sure they didn't go as far as doing a photo comparison on their blog.
Elle: Or has that been done already too?
Will: One time, I thought up the word "guitarded", and I thought I was so clever, but now you can see that there are 63,400 Google hits for the word "guitarded".
Way to not answer my last question!
Elle: That's sad. You should have copyrighted that.
Will: Trademarked.
Will: Correcting people, something I do.
Elle: Damnit. DAMNIT!
Will: But don't necessarily feel good about.
Elle: It's ok, I do that as well. It's always refreshing to get corrected by someone else. I need to be taken down a peg or two sometimes.
Will: Haha, but you're the writer.
Elle: Whatevs. I am just a blogger. According to Deep Cutz Charlie, there is a HUGE difference. *shakes fist at Deep Cutz' "blog"
Will: Hmm. Maybe blogspot should make people read "The Elements of Style" before they can have an account.
Elle: That's probably a good idea.

Elle: What are your favorite pizza toppings? Hard-hitting journalism!
Will: pepperoni, onions and pineapple are my top three. If a pizza has one of those, it's off to a good start.
Elle: I am not a fan of pineapple on pizza. But I can respect your choice. NOT! that's sick.
Will: You know, I didn't used to think I was, and then (to get all scene for a second) Eric Stollsteimer gave me a slice of ham and pineapple at the Lager House once, and I was like "Whoa! This is good!"
Elle: Name dropping! Awesome! BONUS SCENE POINTS FOR NAMING A STOLLSTEIMER!
Will: Ha, the makings of a good blog post.

Elle: Where did you go to school? Did you go to college?
Will: I went to the Detroit Waldorf School for grade school, Cranbrook for high school and U of M for college.
Elle: What did you get your degree in?
Will: Philosophy!
Elle: Wow! I took some philosophy classes. We should talk sometime. About philosophy stuff.
Will: Oof.
That can't be good
Elle: I will probably just sit there and stare at you like I am confused, though.
Will: I was never very good at becoming an expert on any philosophers. I just think about right and wrong a lot.
Elle: How so? Examples?
Will: Well, in the news there are all kinds of stories about people hurting and killing each other. I think a lot about whether there are steps that can be taken to get people to cut this out, and what those steps might be.
Elle: I spend quite a bit of time thinking about that too.
Will: Hm, maybe everyone does.
Way to make me not feel stupid about saying something so completely obvious.
Elle: Probably.
Will: The thing about philosophy is that you keep ending up back at the most basic questions.
Elle: So true. *staring blankly at computer screen*
Will: But if you take the scientific approach, you have to give up being able to say that people "should" do this or "shouldn't" do that.
Will: The other option is religion, but I am not religious.
Elle: Would you consider yourself an atheist then?
Will: I say I'm an agnostic, because I don't spend any time advocating against the idea of a God. I think the universe is so insane and incomprehensible that even our concept of there being a "God" doesn't begin to explain it.
Elle: That's deep, sir. Whoa.
Will: Thanks.
Elle: You're welcome.
Will: A few years ago I read "The Fabric of the Cosmos" by Brian Greene, which is about the current state of how physics views the universe, and I came away thinking that a true understanding of the universe and why it's here and all that is way, way beyond our current grasp.
Elle: I think I've been a little too nice to you in this interview.
Elle: That's definitely not fivethreedialtone style.
Will: I did an interview with fivethreedialtone a while back; I don't recall him being particularly mean.
Elle: He is mean to me. Maybe it's just me, though.
Will: He does do leading questions to try to get you say bad things about others, though.
Duh, he's a blogger. And he is from Detroit.
Will: I'm sorry if he's mean to you.
Elle: It's ok... I'll be fine. *sobbing quietly*

Elle: What are your top three favorite albums of all-time? What about at the moment?
Will: I'd say for all time it's the albums I mentioned having an effect on my songwriting: Siamese Dream, OK Computer, and Between the Bridges. I got obsessed with each of those and they had a big effect on me. For the last few years, I'd say my favorites are Brian Wilson's Smile (the recent version), Tchaikovsky's The Nutcracker ballet, and a Beatles album (let's say Sgt. Pepper's).

Elle: What do you love about Michigan?
Will: Well, I probably love Michigan because I grew up here, I'm used to the lifestyle, and a lot of my friends and some family are here. I enjoy going up north; much of the state is very pretty. I'm proud of the musical heritage here, and I hope to keep that going in some small way.

Elle: What do you hate about Michigan?
Will: I don't really hate anything about Michigan, but I wish that the state had more opportunities for the creative class. Economically, I think that should be part of the replacement for the decline of manufacturing, and I think it's a reason why several of my friends have left the state. I'm sorry that the national perception of Michigan is probably a negative one, with Michigan's poor economy and with Detroit's various troubles. I think that more boosting up needs to be done of schools like Wayne State and CCS, to make Detroit more of a viable option for young creative class types. Right now it's cool to move to Chicago or New York, and it's not very cool to move to Detroit, and I think an answer to that problem is part of the solution for bringing Michigan back. Also, the winters are a little long here.

Indeed, they are...

Everybodys Moving Out Of Michigan - Will Yates

So, like, is Deep Cutz Charlie really just an emo kid?

Last night, I did an interview with another Detroit blogger. I know, right? We keep tooting each other's horns. But this time, it was different. I asked him all the tough questions, and some not-so-tough ones. He's a vegetarian. I didn't want to make him cry, you know?

I think we managed to cover all the important bases in this interview. Here is my take on the interview. The stuff in italics are what I was thinking while I was reading what he was saying. Or while I was typing what I was typing.

Elle: Hey dude
9 minutes go by. I think this Charlie kid is flaking out on the interview. Jerk.
Elle: Hello? Hello?
Charlie: hello?
Elle: Hello! O Hai!
Charlie: hello indeed!

Elle: How are you?
Charlie: pretty groovy
ya know? kinda serene
how about you?
Elle: Fantastic!
Charlie: right on
what's new? how's the world?
Elle: Let's see... Nothing, and I have no idea. Oh my god, did you hear about how LiLo is a lesbian?! SERIOUSLY!
You?
Charlie: writing
and duke ellington
and a john lennon doc
and laundry

Elle: Whoa! Busy guy! I should do my laundry
Charlie: maybe gonna read about husker du
yeah, but it's fun
Elle: This is already the worst interview ever. This is already the worst interview ever.
Charlie: i hadn't realized we started
Elle: I kid. Duh, why else would I talk to you?
Charlie: this confounded internet moves too fast sometimes
interviews start at their own accord, people post things left and right and microsoft falls apart
Elle: Oh, Microsoft. The dirge of my existence.
Charlie: dirge
i like that word

Elle: It is a good word!
I'm glad you like that word. You use a lot of big, fancy pants words when you right.
Did you go to school or something?
Charlie: i remember going into some buildings yes, sitting quietly and having someone talk at me blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah
not sure if that was school...but it was a building blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah
i actually have a Masters Degree in Wordology blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah

Elle: A Master's degree, eh?
Charlie: yep
Elle: Whoa. Dude, I have like five of those.
Charlie: the field is actually fairly close to the work of paleontology

Elle: I don't think I can do this interview anymore

Charlie: haha
what's your story?
now the questions are coming your way
outside of writing a blog called Detroit Riot
(dig how i threw that plug into your own interview)

Elle: Oh geez, see that is hard because that blog is my life.
I mean, I sleep sometimes, and I eat sometimes, but it's all about blogging, you know.
Charlie: it's a bloggers world
Elle: DEEP CUTZ
Charlie: i'm glad i don't write one of those
Elle: There, I have also plugged you
Charlie: yes
more subtly than i did for you
cheers
Elle: For sure.
I am all about subtleties.

Charlie: what are you listening to right now?
top 5 things you listened to today
or...
Elle: Oh! Crispin Hellion Glover's stunning rendition of "These Boots are Made for Walking" And I am crying.
Charlie: the 5 things
WHOA

Elle: Have you heard it!?
Charlie: i didn't know he covered that, let alone that his middle name was hellion
Elle: Well, you are getting a mix cd, my friend
Charlie: sweet
i'll do the same for you
i was gonna make a witticism re: back to the future
but nothing's coming
nothing good anyway

Elle: Back to my top five.. I just downloaded the new Pascal album via Emusic.
Charlie: oh yeah?
Elle: Can I have a top 12?
Charlie: let's go for 11
so you've got 2 down
Elle: Damnit. Fair enough.
I was just going to name off all 12 tracks of the Pascal album
Charlie: sweet
what do you think so far?
Elle: I like it so far
I can't think of any fancy ways to describe it at the moment
Charlie: regal? poignant? prestitigous?

Elle: So, I am going to copy off of you. Top five songs you heard today.
Go.
Charlie: oh
songs?
Elle: Or things in general
Charlie: well, my favorite song off the silent years new album is called Ropes; and I like this song from this solo singer/songwriter Elliott-Smithy/Sparklehorsey/Becky kinda act called Willoughby
and this local band called Night Shall Eat These Boys and Girls I was going to interview them but then I found out Charlie interviewed them and I was all like, fuck that.

Elle: Did you say Elliott Smith AND Beck? I will check this out.
Charlie: and Donovan Quinn and the 13th Month!
yeah
kinda laid back, college campusy type, sunny autumn day type sound

Elle: Did you know Beck is a Scientologist?
Wacky.
Charlie: indeed i did
it always made me feel a bit uncomfortable
i heard someone say recently that they feel his scientology is starting to come out in his albums

Elle: Is there anything you don't know?
Charlie: what women want^...
that i only know half the time
Elle: Good answer!
Charlie: ha
how about Beck's latest?
Elle: I have not listened to it.
I am afraid it will seduce me into Scientology. Because, you know, Beck is seductive and whatnot. Beck is so sexy.
Charlie: and a scientologist
Elle: Exactly. A sexy scientologist
Charlie: he has a song called 'soul of a man' on it
which is suspect, cuz scientologists are all about that soul and alien thing
the title track is pretty sweet though

Elle: I really liked the cover he did of Daniel Johnston's "True Love Will Find You in the End" although that is old.
Charlie: i often dig it when anyone covers daniel johnston
Elle: For real. Shut up already.
Charlie: beach house, built to spill
it's all good
i was a big fan of the documentary that came out about him
Elle: I have not seen it! But I have heard good things.
Charlie: it was really somber, but heartening at the same time...plus, the director as phenomenal, he would always give you point of view shots of daniel's wacky adventures, whether it was terrorizing old laides or getting punched out by carnies

Elle: Speaking of carnies... Thoughts?
Charlie: salt of the earth?
spotty clothes, sunburns, leather vests (not leather jackets,) smoking around 4 year olds, pulling cranks
nomads
Elle: What's your problem with carnies? Have you been punched by any?
Charlie: oh, i got no quarrels
they're cool
not punched yet
but i guess i would be understanding if one did
we'd probably talk about it afterward, i feel
maybe over elephant ears
Elle: I love elephant ears!
Charlie: i actually haven't had one in a long time
Elle: I had one at the Tiger stadium recently.
So you are a real, bonafide journalist?

Charlie: absolutely
'a doctor of journalism'

Elle: I don't know why I asked. I totally knew that.
Charlie: really? is it out on the streets?
Elle: It is!

Charlie: so what else are you digging? what else is happenin?

Elle: I am really digging... Umm...
I don't know.
I am tapped out.
I am going to the release show for Oscillating. Once I get my hands on that record, I am sure I will be digging on it.
Or digging it.
Charlie: it's beautiful and terrific
and snappy
but i already wrote enough about it
Elle: Snappy?! Awesome.
Charlie: i think it's amazing, i put it up there already with some of the strongest releases in local history

Elle: Wow.
You know, I feel like a lot of stuff that has come out of this area lately is superb.
Charlie: detroit is bubbling
Elle: Bubbling! And hustlin'
Charlie: yeah
Elle: You gotta hustle, you know?

Charlie: lately it feels like we're living in an unbalanced washing machine, that's rattling like apocalyptic hellfire...that growing roaring metallic rattle, ya know? like this strange and frightening contraption is in the middle of some ravenous fit and it's gonna come to a head any second
at least, that's what my washing machine does every week....so that was the quickest metaphor for me

Elle: Whatever you just said. Yeah. Agreed.
So you actually own your own washing machine?
That is impressive.
Almost as impressive as what you just said.

Charlie: haha
i'm diggin this interview
i dunno, ya know what i mean though?
how that blasted washing machines rattling just keeps getting louder and louder

Elle: I am picking up what you are putting down
Charlie: but it's still under a lid?
but...
at any moment...
ah here we go...
that lid will blow the fuck off
that's the ticket

Elle: Who will fix this washing machine?
Charlie: oh no one
i hope it blows to hell
let detroit's underwear and long johns go all over the room

Elle: Detroit needs it's long johns. Srsly. It gets cold.
Charlie: sudsy splendor
well, i think in this metaphor, the bands are the long johns
and the room is the world's ears

Elle: I do like the idea that it will culminate into a huge bubble party.
Charlie: oh yeah
cleansing
and ceremonial

Elle: So, once the long johns are scattered about Detroit in disarray...
I don't know where I was going with that.
I am sure there will be a party, though.
Speaking of parties, been to any good ones lately? Dude, I need a beer.
Charlie: i'm actually at one right now
at my house
it's all over the place, i just found a quiet space for me and my computer
Elle: Make sure no one spills beer on your computer!
Charlie: remember the scene from weird science? it's kinda like that over here
umm..., parties...
Elle: omg, I totally do.
Charlie: X! Fest was great
as was the javelins party
i was also at a pool party recently, which was transcendent

Elle: I did not attend X!fest. But I heard good things.
You know people who have a pool!? thoroughly impressed.
Charlie: indeed
veggie kabob by the pool side on a sunday afternoon
Elle: Are you vegetarian?
Charlie: yep
would meat eaters enthusiastically go for the veggie kabob?
i think anytime i say i had somthing 'veggie' it's a giveaway
Elle: I made some amazing potato and zucchini fritter/pancakes for dinner.
Charlie: stupendous dumb big word
Elle: I actually got THREE meat eaters to eat and enjoy tofu this week.
That's got to be a record.
Charlie: same here!
i made this spinach-barley risotto
which came with a lotta tofu
i'm slowly converting my family and others
much like beck...
are you vegetarian?
Elle: Yes.
I told Jay (fivethreedialtone) that and he said he was going to make fun of me. Jay, why do you hate me?
Charlie: yeah, he used to make fun of me all the time for it
Elle: My dad ate all the tofu I made last time I visited. He left none for me.
Charlie: ha
that's good though, that he dug it
Elle: For sure!
He likes to act like a man's man. But tofu can be manly.
It was covered in bbq sauce.

Charlie: perfect
well elle...
my brother's asking me to come back and watch the rest of Control with him
Elle: Lucky.
Will Yates is in that.
Charlie: which, halfway through is a great flick so far
....
really? He obviously does not read my blog.
Elle: No.
Charlie: ha
that's great
Elle: He is in a lot of things though. It's the goddamn truth.
You have a great night.
Charlie: you too elle
keep up the great work over there at DETROIT RIOT
Elle: Yeah! You too! DEEP CUTTZZZZZ

Photo Comparison

This past Friday, I interviewed Oscillating Fan Club, and the drummer, Rob, pointed out that Will Yates (Zoos of Berlin, Pop Project) looks very similar to Ian Curtis (Joy Division). So, I did a photo comparison. You can judge for yourself.



I was going to do a photo comparison of Pierce from OFC vs. Thurston Moore, but I got bored scouring the internetz for pictures. Maybe I'll post a comparison when I publish the blog about OFC.

The Pop Project-"Stars of Stage and Screen" and the Best Bonus Video Ever.

To be quite honest with you, I felt like I had heard all of the songs off of "Stars of Stage and Screen" by the Pop Project before. Obviously, if you have no idea the history behind the making of this album, you would think I was dissing them. A little background for those of you out of the loop: it took them FIVE years to record this album (once again, reinforcing the rumour that I started about them being illiterate). Technically, I have heard all of these songs before (I have seen them live at least five times). I am going to spend a long time dissecting this album. If someone puts THAT much effort into a record, might as well put that much effort into a review about said album, no? I heard this album cost them over $13 million to record.

All joking aside, my scene points are going to plummet after writing this review, for the following reasons: a) these guys are not 19-year-olds, b) they are actual, talented musicians, and c) none of them own baby blue skinny jeans (I could be completely wrong about this, though).

So, here is my essay about "Stars of Stage and Screen" by the Pop Project:

This is an album I would like my father to hear. Finally, I can prove to him that while everything made nowadays is regurgitated, it is, in fact, not "shit." Everything from the lyrics to the conjugation of the song structure is guided by a very careful hand (or hands, in this case). They use timing changes! IN THE MIDDLE OF SONGS! I was particularly drawn to the lyrics: heavy-handedly written in the perspective of the underdog. I felt like I was watching all of the recent Judd Apatow movies while listening to this record. "Stand In" sounds like it was ripped off a soundtrack to an Apatow romantic comedy. These guys have definitely felt more than enough cold shoulders from the cool kids of the world, but have channeled their bitter feelings into some beautifully crafted (and hilarious) lyrics.

Of all the tracks, my favourite one is "Hearts and Flowers." This is the kind of song I would like written about me. This is the kind of song I wish I could write about someone else. If you can't relate to the lyrics, "...I felt like my body was breaking, that my teeth were falling out one by one...because of you" then you are pretty much a heartless bastard. That’s OK, though. At least there are four guys in the world that seem to understand this feeling.

I kind of feel bad writing this review and not writing up a separate paragraph for every single song. This isn’t your typical band. This band is as close to a democracy as you can get in a band. Democracies in bands usually equate to watered-down crap. You need a bandleader. This band has four leaders. I don’t know how they don’t all hate each other (maybe they secretly do). As far as the three lead singers go, Zach Curd and Will Yates seem to be cut out of the same cloth of pop sensibility (did I just lose more points by using that term?). The songs Dave Lawson wrote, with the exception of the lounge-y “Stand In,” are a little more country, and a little less smooth than the other tracks. With all due respect, this guy can shred on guitar. He gives the songs by Curd and Yates that extra “pop” of zas*.

If you want a good laugh, a laugh that will hurt so bad because ‘it’s true, and that’s what makes it funny,” then “Never Got a Break” is the song for you. This is also a song I would like to dedicate to about 50% of the bands I have ever encountered. This song might also aptly describe the Pop Project in a couple of years if they do indeed never get a break. These dudes take their music seriously, but they aren’t afraid to poke fun at themselves or others. Kudos to that.

I almost feel like “House of Books” does not fit on this album. It’s almost too poignant in comparison to the rest of the songs, musically and lyrically. “House of Books” truly showcases this band’s diversity, and gives them an illusion of edginess. Hot. Zach Curd, if you played your keyboard “solos” on the most metal guitar you could possibly find, then I would be head-banging until I got whiplash. Metal? The Pop Project? I think they could do it if they cared to do it.

When you’re feeling down, pop in this CD**. Dance with reckless abandon. If you do not feel better by the second track, just keep listening. If by the last track you still aren’t feeling all right, I know a couple of really good mental health care professionals in the area. I think you need someone to talk to.

*Do yourself a favour and watch Metalocalypse sometime.
**Don't ask your friends to burn you this CD. Don't be a pussy, go to one of their shows and buy it. And if you can't make it to a show, order it online at Suburban Sprawl's website. Believe me, you will want to see the bonus video. Adam Kempa dances. Will Yates joins in. Adam Kempa also drops the eff bomb a bunch of times. Saying that word is hilarious.

OK, is there anyone with FIVE bands playing at the RCF? Anyone? Anyone?

Will Yates' Rock City Fest, formerly known as Ryan Allen's Rock City Fest, formerly known as Detour's Rock City Fest, is now going to be known as Christian Doble's Rock City Fest.

Doble can be seen in the following bands:
Friendly Foes
Child Bite
Cooper Thieves
Kiddo

Thanks, Will Yates, for clearing that up.

Chances are, folks, you will see one of Christian Doble's bands this weekend. Even if it is on accident. So don't try to stop it from happening. Resistance to the Doble is futile.

Yeah, check out those sweet photoshop skillz.

Will Yates' Rock City Fest

How many appearances will Will Yates make at the Detour Rock City Fest?

From the looks of his Myspace page, the answer is three.

We get it. You are super talented. Jesus Christ, man. You must have built up some seriously good karma in your past life. If you believe in that sort of thing, anyway.