Pat Benatar

I did not go to the Rockin' On The Riverfront on Thursday. Apparently, Pat Benatar was actually good.

"Oh no! Elle is going to talk some smack about Pat Benatar!"

Last time I saw PB (and her annoying husband), it was the 4th of July, and I blew off all of my friends who were having parties to listen to some tunes that I could have listened to on my record player while not getting drenched in rain. And then, PB decided she was pissed at the crowd and sang all of the songs while facing her husband. When they weren't playing songs, Neil Giraldo was rambling for 40 minutes about some "really funny thing that happened to them" 100+ years ago.

Then Pat bitched about having to sing "Love is a Battlefield" for the millionth time.

Since then, I have dusted off my PB records and sang numerous PB songs at karaoke bars. But I wasn't about to see her live again. I didn't want to take the chance of being bored to death again by Neil's long-winded and awkward stories.

Saturday night, I went to The Old Miami to see The Hadituptoheres and some other bands. One of the other bands cancelled, and some band with a kind of dumb name played White Stripes songs without a drummer. I really like the backyard of The Old Miami, so I hung out with some friends back there. Steve from the Hadits showed me videos he recorded on his phone of himself at work. Honestly, those videos were much more entertaining than the band with the dumb name were, with their ridiculously long set. Much more entertaining. In fact, I think if my favourite band were playing and Steve was trying to show me those videos, I would be torn on what to pay attention to. The videos were THAT good.

I ordered a vodka tonic at the bar, and instead spent $4 on a water with lime and ice in it. At least I stayed hydrated in the heat.

The Hadituptoheres played three new songs before my ears started to bleed and I had to leave. Note to sound guys: you should really have gotten some ear plugs years ago. I get that you are mostly deaf, but that doesn't mean everyone else who enters your venues should be made deaf. Or, your venues should sell earplugs in the bathrooms. Next to the tampons. It makes sense to me.

Back to the Hadits and their "new" songs: uuuhhhh, dudes, can I get a copy of those new songs? Srsly, what I caught when my ears weren't ringing was pretty good. I'll, like, give you a few bucks or something.

Happy Anniversary, Blog!

My Dearest Blog,

It has been three weeks since we began this wonderful journey, but it feels like it has been a lifetime, no?

We have had some great times. Some good laughs. Some fights.

*sigh* I think people are jealous of us, Blog. But they can hate all they want! My feelings for you will never change.

Oh, Blog, you complete me.

With Love,

Elle

Local Celebrity Challenge II: Battle of the Bloggers

Bloggers (or Escribitionists, if you feel so inclined). They are the foundation of our society. Before there was blogging, there were no bloggers, and thus, no foundation for our society. It was a sad, sad world before the Internetz. How did people communicate? That's another blog for another day, kids. Today, though, we celebrate two of the most popular bloggers in the history of the world (Detroit) with a BATTLE OF THE BLOGGERS. Whoever loses this challenge will be fed to Kwame Kilpatrick.

And so it begins...

Elle: State your name and your blog address.
Scotter: Scotter, post-rockist.com
Jasper: Jasper, webvomit.com

L: How long have you been blogging?
S: Two years. It's my blogging birthday this month!
J: Since February 2005. Wow, that sounds terrible.

L: What do you hate about Michigan?
S: No public transpo.
J: Michiganders.

L: What do you love about Michigan?
S: I like my lakes great.
J: That we say "pop" instead of "soda". Fuck soda.

L: Ramble for at least one paragraph about something that is ultra-obscure.

S: If you read the first few pages of the Great Gatsby carefully, you'll see that there's an amazing moment of subtle foreshadowing in the smallest detail of Fitzgerald's diction. You see, the narrator Nick Carroway says "Gatsby was all right in the end" right at the beginning, but this is a red herring of sorts. Notice that he writes "all right," not "alright." Gatsby's dream was, according to Carroway, "all right." It was the right vision. However, Gatsby certainly wasn't "alright" in the end. He got shot in his pool at the end, and dies.

J: Vulgar is an album released by Dir en grey on September 10, 2003 in Japan and on February 21, 2006 in Europe. A limited edition containing an additional DVD was also released. It featured the video of the song "Obscure", albeit a censored version (the uncensored clip was later released on the Average Psycho DVD). Vulgar is the first Dir en grey release not to feature individual credits for the music (credits for track 9, 11 and 14 taken from the respective singles). The original Japanese title of track four offers several ways of romanization, namely "shokubeni" and "syokubeni" (the latter being used on Dir en grey's official website).

L: What is your best pick-up line?
S: "You're so hot, it makes me feel alive."
J: It's less of a line, and more of a threatening stare while humping a bar stool or table. Chicks eat that shit up.

L: What is your most interesting story that takes place in Detroit?
S: On Opening Day this year, I got thrown out of the same bar twice in one day.
J: So this one time, really early in the morning after a party or something, a guy was driving down Woodward or Cass or wherever and a hooker flagged him down. Being curious, he pulled over to learn the woman needed a ride. Being half-drunk and half-retarded, the man asked "what's in it for me?". At that point a hooker titty was presented through the driver's window, and the dude actually put that thing in his mouth. After that exchange was over, the woman went to open the back door, but the man sped off. His reason for fleeing: "That chick was filthy. I didn't want her in my car." Yet somehow he considered her clean enough to put in his mouth.

L: Do you have any juicy gossip about your opponent?
S: His favorite show is the Smurfs, which caused his everlasting guilty pleasure love of The Blue Man Group. He has another blog--a fan blog--about them that he doesn't disclose to anyone else. In that blog, he is pictured de-bagged, but with blue paint all over his face.
J: The man [from the story] is Scotter.


Once again, I feel like I have set myself up for a huge headache trying to decide the winner.

The fan favorite is Scotter. I didn't even have to ask for the opinions of others on this one. My mailbox was inundated with messages like "I LOVE SCOTTER" and "SCOTTER IS THE COOLEST DUDE EVER" and "HIS BREATH SMELLS LIKE VANILLA ICE CREAM." But Scotter himself even said that he is undeserving of such a title. I think he was just afraid that Jasper might hunt him down in the alley behind The Bronx and put a bag over his head (unless it was plastic, I don't see this as being too much of a threat).

All joking aside (don't you hate when people use that term too much?), the deciding factor came down to the answer to this question: "What is your favourite punctuation mark?"

S: Is the semicolon a punctuation mark? I guess it's not, because it's not punctuating anything--it's a wall between two clauses that are equal, perhaps a "no-man's land" in the battle for clause supremacy. Either way, I still choose the semicolon, although I hate when it's used in an emoticon.
J: The dash, obviously. It tricks people into not noticing run-on sentences by a rambling bloggers -- most of us don't know how to properly use commas and semicolons and shit like that anyway. The dash is the punctuation magician -- it makes unintelligible crap more readable.

Scotter, the semicolon is a punctuation mark according to Wikipedia (the only source of information that I trust). You can take you Master's degree from whatever school you got it from and kiss my butt. And Jasper, you bagged head scares the crap out of me.

So the winner is...













ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Totally awesome. I rule.

But since Jasper and Scotter were such great sports, I owe you both a beer or two when I see you next.

I've got nothing.

This is the first day since I started this blog that I have nothing to talk about. Get used to it. I have a busy week/weekend of watching bands, judging them, and then thinking about shit to talk about them.

The unveiling of the Local Celebrity Challenge II: Battle of the Bloggers will be up this weekend! ooooooh yeah. I am putting it up now. K. Thx.

The Man of Mythological Proportions! Oh, the mystery!

I was listening to a summer mix CD in my car (yeah, it's summertime, let's bust out the mixes!), and it just so happened that an Electric Six song found it's way onto the mix YET AGAIN. I am going to spare you the details of my mix (I am the worst mix CD maker ever), but the Electric Six song did get me thinking:

Who the hell is Dick Valentine?

I have never met the guy. I am unsure if I would even want to meet him. He is shrouded in mystery, taking on whatever disguise he deems fit for the day/show/music video. He might as well be wearing a mask! At all times. This would be excessive. Just a bit. Maybe Dick Valentine is just a tangible incarnation of all the excesses of the world, rolled into one man.

So this mystery man, what makes him so mysterious? I don't know. I have never met him. That, my friends, is part of the mystery. But I know people who have met him. I would just rather not bother those people about it.* Maybe DV** is so mysterious that even the people closest to him don't even really know him.

Wikipedia doesn't know him.

The Myspace doesn't know him.

Youtube claims to know him, but just has lots of videos of him.

Same with Flickr. But with pictures.

He seems to live a charmed life. Maybe he has magical powers. I do not know for sure. Thus, the mystery continues...

I would like to interview him someday. But it would be a top-secret interview (over the phone, I don't know if I can go face-to-face with this guy***). And no one would ever be able to read it. I wouldn't write anything down or record it. I would like Dick Valentine to remain a mystery to everyone else. I am selfish like that.

*Although, I was told that he does voice-over work. I do not want to know what he does voice-over work for. I would like to be surprised.
**do his friends call him that? Further more, what DO his friends call him? Does he even have friends?
***because he might, in fact, have magical powers and might be able to hypnotize me. But if his powers are strong enough, he could probably do it on the phone too.

check out Electric Six's website for Retirement by 40??? Electricsix.com Has 5 Hot Tips To Make It Happen

Wolf Moon Dance by The Darts

The Darts (Lansing) put out a CD April 27th. It's called "Wolf Moon Dance." Before I get to the reason behind the title, my theory (after listening to the record) is that someone joked to the singer, Chris Minarik, that he sounded like a wolf howling at the moon when he sings sometimes. The word "dance" was just added in to look cool.

And now for Chris' version: "Wolves howl at the moon while creating music to dance to."

When I asked if I could quote him on that, he said "no."

He then stated, "I scream at the people while I create music to dance to," and that the title was inspired by his grandmother's house, "with wolf pictures on the wall."

And now to the meat of the story: the music. Does it hold a candle to the hype this band gets from The Hard Lessons (who also hype up the Decks, and Champions of Breakfast, so I am a little torn)?

The CD starts off on a bad note. The cowbell should only be used if it can be executed well. For some reason, it is just a tick off. And as much as I wanted to turn off the CD, I have enjoyed The Darts' live shows in the past. So I continued to listen before completely writing this album off.

Something good: the bass and drums (Jocelyn Klug and Darrin Higgins, respectively) are solid throughout the record (with the exception of the weird cowbell). Live, the bassist's and drummer's presence (presences?) take the backseat to Minarik's stage antics, but not talent-wise. The lead guitar adds extra dynamics to the recording, which was an added bonus (I have never seen the Darts play with a lead guitarist. Their lead guitarist is no longer with the band, btw.).

I was thoroughly confused by the vocals. During live shows, Minarik seems to have quite a good range. Recorded, he sounds exasperated, out of key, and a little too pitchy. This kind of performance could be tolerated if used sparingly, but it's evident in every song on the CD.

I want to say that The Darts remind me of The Pixies. Maybe if Black Francis was a little less pop-savvy, and a little flatter in terms of range.

If I was writing about a live performance, believe me, my tune would be completely different and I would use phrases like 'blown away' or 'wow-ed'. This CD just didn't cut it, though.

the next local celebrity challenge: bloggertastic!

Scotter (post-rockist.com) vs Jasper (webvomit)

More to come!!!

Deastro on Emusic

I know I am a little late with this, but I just rejoined Emusic last month (after taking a much needed three year hiatus from it), and I was stoked when they recommended Deastro to me. I wanted to send them an e-mail saying, "Thanks, but I already effin' knew about Deastro but I am glad you have Deastro available for download on your site." But I decided against that.

There are a few shows coming up.

I am liking the trend that some bars/venues in Detroit have picked up on lately: not charging for cover. I love it. I play for free all the time anyway, so since I am not making any money, why should there be cover, right? Shout out to the Old Miami and PJ's Lager House. The best part about these bars? They don't charge you $4.50 for a PBR (*ahem* MajesticGardenStick). I understand that you have people on your payroll and that these people need to get paid. And I also understand that people are still buying the beers regardless of the inflated prices. So you really have no incentive to lower the prices. You remind me of the oil companies. Yes.

Anyway, The Hadituptoheres, who I am completely sick of seeing/hearing, are playing a free show at the Old Miami this Saturday. I will probably be there, with earplugs in. I have a huge crush on the singer. Otherwise, I wouldn't care.

/joke.

But there is a huge party going on a block from my apartment that night, and I would love to be able to drink and walk home (I don't even have to cross the street).


DO NOT DRINK AND DRIVE! it is not cool.
/not a joke

Annie Palmer, revisited. Plus Mason Proper puts out... a CD.

BREAKING NEWS STORY!
From teh Myspace bulletin board:
Annie Palmer
"Hi. I'm going on tour. I'll be in these places on these days.

june
27 - mt pleasant, mi
28 - marquette, mi
29 - minneapolis, mn
30 - bismarck, nd

july
1 - billings, mt
2 - missoula, mt
3 - seattle, wa
4 - portland, or
5 - arcata/eureka, ca
6 - san francisco, ca
7 - los angeles, ca
8 - phoenix, az
9 - albequerque, nm
10 - lubbock, tx
11 - oklahoma city, ok
12 - kansas city, mo
13 - chicago, il

let's hang out.

xo
ap"

AND MASON PROPER NEWS:
"Finally! We made it!

We have escaped countless destroyed vans, broken equipment, beaten and bruised bodies post-show, and hid in a small empty house to record our second album, Olly Oxen Free!

It will be out on September 23rd on Dovecote Records, but in the meantime, we will be posting new songs every two weeks. We're starting off with "Safe for the Time Being" and a brand new one called "Lock and Key."

Please post them to your profiles so your friends will check them out too! And check back in with us frequently, we have a lot of devious things planned you might enjoy. Especially if you're a filmmaker or work with music, ahem.

(And if you aren't already on iLike, sign up and get the toolbar. It's a great way to find new music you like.)

If you want more music in the meantime, check out secret tunnel group for a free song from a mason proper side project. or check out our shorthand video ep on itunes if you haven't already"


Wooo! All Right! Party time! Yeah!

Am I too late?

I didn't even know George Carlin was still alive.

For the rest of the day, I will only speak the seven dirty words.

But I would rather not lose my job. So I will wait until I am attempting to play softball later.

RIP, bro.